Collaborative Divorce – Creating a Resolution that Works
Shelley Sanderman - Colorado Family Law Attorney
Several weeks ago, I attended a two-day training seminar about Collaborative Divorce. I didn’t know much about it except what I had heard outside the legal world. I remembered hearing the term in the movie “Juno” - that it is a divorce process that is “all the rage right now”. I also remembered hearing celebrity Robin Williams recently divorced his wife of 19 years through the collaborative divorce process. I knew collaborative divorce was considered an alternative to the nightmarish courtroom battle that most Americans think of when the subject turns to divorce.
As I soon found, many lawyers and people in the legal field believe collaborative divorce is not truly practicing law, or is a ‘soft approach’ to divorce. However, listening to experts of this budding field of family law, I found it to be an interesting, almost refreshing, alternative to the courtroom battles. In this process, the parties agree that they want to proceed with a collaborative divorce, and each retain a separate attorney trained in the collaborative divorce process. Both parties must agree that, if the collaboration fails, the parties will retain entirely new counsel and proceed with the traditional divorce process.
The beauty of collaborative divorce is this: the couple must work through their demons with trained professionals, such as professionals in mental health, child specialists, financial specialists and a mediator. This entirely open process gives each client the opportunity to address the issues most important to each of them. The parties are free to create their own solutions and can address issues that are most important to them, not just what a judge believes to be legally significant.
The collaborative divorce process has the potential to create healthier families post-divorce. The focus is on forward-thinking solutions, and the process can go as quickly or as slowly as the parties require. If children of the marriage exist, each parents’ concerns are addressed openly with the facilitation of child specialists, and parties have the opportunity to put the best possible paths in place for parental decision-making, responsibilities and scheduling.
The client’s attorney participates in a slightly different manner, but like both the traditional divorce process and the collaborative divorce process, the client’s attorney ensures the client is well-informed of their legal rights and the legal implications all decisions could have. Attorneys also assist their clients through this sometimes emotionally-taxing process by facilitating and encouraging solutions that the attorney can then draft into an agreement for the court. As difficult and uncomfortable as this process may seem, the end result is a divorce with better communication and understanding between the parties.
Who cares whether or not you can communicate with your ex? You should. Post-decree matters can be as expensive as the initial divorce, and the additional stress of combating your ex-spouse for years to come is not appealing to many - it’s like a never-ending divorce.
Its important to note that collaborative divorce isn’t for everyone. To determine if a collaborative divorce is right for you, contact a family law attorney trained in collaborative divorce.
